Bad day

Today is a bad, bad, bad day. I am so sick and tired of these emotions and the pain stabbing at my heart. I started out having a good day then suddenly bam it hits me. I do not feel like doing anything now, yet have so much to do. I cannot even force myself to do anything right now. My school books lay scattered on the floor and I have no desire to pick them back up or even care about school right now. I am tired, so tired. Havent been eating much or sleeping well. I hope this day gets better.

Today

Well I have been doing a lot of soul searching and thinking lately and finally decided what I am going to do. I have dwelled on this for quite some time now and the decision I made is the most logical one I could come to. I have a few things to get done first, then everything will be in place and ready. It is such a relief finally having the answer :)

1-16-11

Busy day today. I went through all of my stuff, organizing my pictures and getting all of my important papers gathered together. I also threw out a lot of stuff that I no longer needed and gave some of it away. Had way too much stuff. I talked to some people that I haven`t talked to in awhile and visited some family then had dinner and watched NCIS with my sister and her family. Told some people some things which I have been meaning to say for awhile but never got around to it. Didnt talk to Lauren any today though and still havent got to see Brantley. Dont even know how he is doing because she hasnt answered me back. I am pretty sure he is ok though because he is tough. Another day down.

1-15-11

Woke up pretty early and began on the laundry. Have  been thinking a lot about my kids and how much I miss them. This empty nest syndrome is for the birds. Mood has been ok so far other than the fact of the usual feelings I have everyday.

1-15-11

Applied for a few jobs today and hope I find one really soon. Do not like some of the thoughts I have been having lately. I am still going to be optimistic about things though and keep hope that today will be the day I have been looking forward to. Havent heard anything about Brantley in a couple of days because she wont return my calls or texts. I hope he is fine.

Jan 13th

Feeling down again today. I cannot wait until this depressing weather is over so I can venture out and do things. I have no desire to do much of anything anymore and I hate it. I have decided that I am no longer going to sit around festering in this lonely life that has taken over me. I am going to do something about it and really quick. I cannot take anymore of this and must either step up or hang up my hat. We will see.

My baby boy

I was told today that they admitted my baby boy to the hospital and he has the flu and pneumonia. This really scares me because pneumonia is what killed my oldest son Chris. I hope he gets better quick. I dont know what i would do without my babys